Iwuz Wrung

Iwuz was once righteous who’d fallen on his golden dagger,

A man who’d been aping Jesus with an unrivalled swagger,

Million didn’t go far enough when hyping up the lord,

Oh how they respected him, Tammy, Jimmy, the horde.

A man who never needed to read the holy bible through,

Who believed liberal money is the holiest of holy glue,

He introduced followers to the money they had paid,

In the name of God I tell you, he had it bloody well made!

Iwuz had a golden marriage which was slowly falling apart,

He thought she’d found the way to mend her faltering heart,

For she took prescription drugs to numb her growing pain,

Her erratic mind putting their public relationship under strain.

He who knew all about love, bought gifts to win her back,

Or he’d stray like her, and woo a honey babe into the sack.

He’s had the opportunity knowing that if he would he could,

In the name of God I tell you, he had it bloody well good!

Iwuz was the chosen chauffeur for the fearful god above,

And his partners gave him money, in return for Jesus’ love.

There’d be condos, palaces, ranches and swimming pools,

Those who didn’t sign up, well they were ungodly fools.

This man who ate the bible over, sideways, upside down,

Could never see himself as a kind of hyperactive clown.

He had the gift of wiping his dirt completely out of sight,

In the name of God I tell you, he had it bloody well alright!

Iwuz became tired of his needy wife, wanting him by her side,

The lord’s business needed work, which took him far and wide,

So she fell in love with a man, a musical member of their crew,

Their friendship blossomed, and soon their intimacy grew.

And came the time for Iwuz to assert his god given authority,

His marriage, ordained by God, was central to his destiny,

Snd he sacked this man who said she shouldn’t be aborted,

In the name of God I tell you, he had it bloody well sorted!

His wife was in no mood to let Iwuz completely off the hook,

A confident arranged a girl, who’d read him like a book.

Sweet Jessica, sweet Jessica, her siren name was calling him,

He imagined she was Eve; visualising her love scented quim.

And through the motel door he went, knowing it was wrong,

And he couldn’t get it up, not until she sung it her lonely song,

It took twenty minutes for his ego to rise and cause a swell,

In the name of God I tell you, he had it bloody well well!

Iwuz Wrung felt his glory bees were about to cross the line,

If it were a scandal, his downfall will suit his enemies fine,

Tammy will go ballistic; Jerry and Jimmy will lick their lips,

Satanists and atheists will mock him with their thrusting hips.

Sure, the devil didn’t make him do it; he did it because he did,

And for a devilish moment, he was acting like a pre-horny kid.

With a big payoff, by keeping quiet, the peccadillo is disguised,

In the name of God I tell you, he had it bloody well organised!

Iwuz took to his prayers when the scandal hit the big light,

Good ‘ol Jesus will be with him as he prepared himself to fight,

Jealous people were out to get him, in it for their own reward,

Old talk had resurfaced about Iwuz doing business close to fraud,

His fellow ministries describe him as a black cancer and a scab,

Flying so close to god’s truth has turned his hard faith into flab,

But for the grace of God go them; they’d be just as surely lashed,

In the name of God I tell you, he had it bloody well smashed!

Iwuz went into damage control and, resigned from his ministry,

His downfall and humiliation appeared in perfect symmetry.

Then came god’s forgiveness, and Tammy’s and all his friends,

Anyone can start again with the right message that God sends,

Don’t give up, miracles are near, just give over to a wondrous God,

Don’t give up, miracles are made for all who give God the nod,

The hourly miracle of forgiveness will leave no-one paralysed,

In the name of God I tell you, he had it bloody well sanctified!