Her Distant Star

He’s my best friend….. Wobbie.

I’ve known him like since he was a star,

He looks after me

Whenever I get this mental rash.

His body’s stuck over my bedroom ceiling

So he can look at me in bed.

And I’ve got a cast of his hairy bollocks

Filled with his happy tadpoles.

There’s a sausage sticking out of it

And it’s tucked underneath my satin pillow

For when he wants me…… my Wobbie.

I don’t go out much

Except to see…….Wobbie.

The barbed wire doesn’t hurt so much now

Thanks to the prescription pills.

I’ve got his autograph

Tattooed all over me body like.

When my feet smell

I wear my Wobbie inserts.

I’m not thinking of anybody but Wobbie

When I’m finger polishing my purple pimple.

My mind goes glassy sometimes

It’s not an obsession like

I do have a life….for Wobbie.

 

I dunno, I never knew me dad

His name wasn’t Wobbie

It was Arthur,

He’s dead now.

Me Mum looks after me,

She’s in a nursing home.

I’ve got a sister in Dagenham.

I don’t have many friends

Unless his name is……. Wobbie.

My thoughts go a bit incontinent

When he’s distant to me.

I’ve got a job

It’s in the city

I start at dinner time

I churn strangers away from Prince Willy

To Wobbie.

I like do it on the mobile phone.

I never give out me name.

I don’t have tea breaks.

My name’s at the bottom of a white board.

The work makes me anxious.

I do me best… for Wobbie.